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Second, there's the issue of expectations you two have not discussed.

This situation underlines the importance of checking in with one's spouse or partner about the various aspects of long-term relationships: finances, in-laws, jobs, children (if any), housekeeping, plans, and sex. So, even though you said your vows and have been together for a while, it sounds like the topic of online chatting and surfing porn sites never came up.

Two main issues are in play here: honesty and uncommunicated expectations.

First, your husband offers an explanation for his behavior that is possible, but not highly believable.

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I typed my user name as "Jill Wifey27" and proceeded into the chat site. I noticed that men were especially raw, refering me to a "dirty married wife who didn't know how to keep her knees together, while her hubby was away".

I swore to these "men" that I would slap them if I did have a chance.

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When I confronted him, he didn't understand why I was upset.

He said that having sex online was harmless and a way to "get off" without breaking his marriage vows (we've been married 10 years). A: This is a situation I see more and more often as the Internet becomes a staple in homes.