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Or, to put it another way, surrender to Andrew Lloyd Webber.It has been some time now since Lord L-W took the creepily fascinating story of The Phantom of the Opera, suavely removed its balls and let the resulting castrato chorus ring out for year after record-breaking year.Like all insufferable 13-year-olds, we sat there, arms crossed, eyes rolled as he slid in the DVD and hid in the corner in fear of having sidekick phones, fanny packs, and Kangol hats being pelted at him.But thankfully, no awful, early 2000's fashion abuse befell him because as it turned out, we were all enthralled by the musical.The only drawback was that her career interfered with her education.

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Gerard Butler may not be a classically trained singer, but he brought a new element to the role.

Ten years ago, when I was in 8th grade, my guilt ridden chorus teacher bought us the Phantom of the Opera movie as a peace offering.

It was in lieu of our class trip to Broadway, that was unceremoniously canceled for no apparent reason at all (still bitter about it).

The guignol is alchemised into syrup, creating a film so lifeless and soulless it's almost scary, with actors who glide slowly around, warbling away in their silly outfits, as if being towed on roller-skates.

Lloyd Webber sees his Phantom as the star of a feelgood weepie, heartbreakingly imprisoned in his disability, bestowing the precious jewel of music on the sweet-natured ingénue.